


Wants and Needs

by CarryMyThoughts



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Literature, Romance, fan fiction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-26
Updated: 2016-09-24
Packaged: 2018-07-22 04:57:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,675
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7420846
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CarryMyThoughts/pseuds/CarryMyThoughts
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You love them both, really you do. But time has pushed and pulled you from one to other and vice versa. How much can your heart take?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Same Ol' Mistakes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the match that he claims will determine the rest of his life. But when the feeling of deja vu takes over, everything that he has worked for seems to crumble around him.

[Listen if you like](http://www.deviantart.com/users/outgoing?https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sl7weoMRqKU)

~~~~~~~~

_I can just hear them now_  
_"How could you let us down?"_  
But they don't know what I've found  
Feeling it overtake 

  
His head pounds with overwhelming thoughts of his former career. The painful memory is fresh in his brain. The sound of the silence that followed his attempt, the feel of the wind brushing past and the soreness in his fingers as the ball hit him at the wrong angle causing his team to lose the game. The game in his opinion that ended and ruined him.

    He had landed on his bad knee and still kept playing. He had lost to his pathetic kouhai. That punk had the nerve to stare him down across the net in satisfaction. 

    No, he can't let that happen to him again. He promised himself it would never happen again, that he would never lose to that freakish crow team.

    But everything around him feels like deja vu. Those blue eyes are boring into his again and it takes all his restraint to not lash out. He has to be the better boy, no man this time. They're in college now, and he shouldn't be reverting back to his old ways. 

    His team lost again and it feels like it's all his fault. 

    But doesn't Oikawa Tooru know that he has one more year left of college to play? If he does, why is he taking this loss so hard? 

    _"Iwa-chan, I'm telling you. When we win this game, I'll tell (f/n)-chan how I really feel!"_

_"Well then, it looks like we've got a game to win. I'm holding you to your promise."_

_"Ah, so mean! You didn't have to punch me!"_

Three years apart and the outcome is still the same. He looks over to find your face among the crowd in the bustling gymnasium. You give him a slight wave as you try to give him a supporting smile. You knew how much this win would have meant to Oikawa, and it physically hurts you to know that he's struggling again. On instinct, you run down to the bottom of the bleachers carefully making your way as to not trip or run into patrons leaving the game. You barely miss the team bowing to their respective side. 

    As the team leaves to head to the locker room you yell out his name to catch his attention. He turns his head slightly at the sound of your voice above the noise. You give him a pensive yet caring look and as swiftly as he turned to see you, he ignores you and walks away. Your heart thumps loudly in your chest and your stomach seems to empty as he walks away.

    Damn it, why does this hurt the both of you so much?

  
_All that I used to hate_  
_One by one every trait_  
_I tried but it's way too late_  
_All the signs I don't read_  
_Two sides of me can't agree_  
_Will I be in way too deep?_  
_Goin' with what I always longed for_

  
Oikawa slams his fist into a locker as the last play goes on repeat in his head. He had reacted too late. If only he was there a few seconds earlier, his team would have had a chance at winning. He would be celebrating with his teammates, and you would have, hopefully, said yes to his question.

    "Gah!" He grunts in frustration at his situation. "I should be better, stronger, faster and clearly more experienced! Why can't I beat him?"

    He sends his fist into the same locker, causing the sound of flesh and metal colliding to echo and fill the empty locker room. He had been sitting down, watching every play that had occurred until they were engraved in his brain. All of the other players on his team had left, seniors giving their final goodbyes and the team then celebrating a wonderful final game. All but Oikawa saw it as such. There was no point in celebrating a loss like this, a loss that triggers him and sends him back to his youth. Sure, he became good friends with the other players, but Oikawa hasn't been able to find a close enough friend like Iwaizumi. So it was no surprise that the friend in question is staring at him is disbelief. And anger. 

    "What the hell do you think you're doing?!"

    The stronger and shorter man grabbed his friend by the collar of his shirt, his eyebrows furrowed together. "(F/n)-san is waiting for you, do you have any idea how long it's been since the game has ended? You're acting like a child again!"

    "What did you expect me to do? Kageyama decided to stuff his win in my face again!" Oikawa retaliated, trying to defend himself.

    He promptly received a slap to the face, "This isn't high school anymore! You can't go back to the way you were. You've come too far to be acting this way. Now pull yourself together and get your shit and get out!"

    The olive eyed young man took a deep breath to calm himself and his friend down from the onslaught of angry emotions. Gathering himself he questions, "Oikawa, what happened? You haven't reacted to a game like this in years. What's going on?"

~~~~~~~

      
    You had been trying to be a good friend, waiting outside the locker room for your longtime friend to come out. But seconds turned to minutes and soon 45 minutes had passed of you just waiting for him to come out and show his face. Your worry had increased twofold the longer you waited. The thought of him being in there alone and hurting raises your anxiety for him more than it should. You had seen that face before, three years ago in a very important tournament like this one. However, the outcome is different yet the same. 

    You never were on the good side of his adoring fans because of your relationship with the chestnut haired setter, but it didn't stop you from always being there for him. And you didn't hesitate to run to him that day he and his team were unsuccessful in moving forward in the tournament. Oikawa had put lots of stress on him and his body during that time and you were more than willing to help him. There was also an alternative reasoning to the importance of this win for him.

    _"(F/n)-chan, when we win this game, I'm finally gonna do it!"_

 _"Uh, do what exactly? Finish studying so we can pass our tests coming up this week?"_

 _The young boy giggles, "Oh no, I've told you! I'm finally going to ask out the girl of my dreams!"_

 _When he announced this, you abruptly stop writing causing an ink smudge to appear all over your notes. The silence on the library suddenly becoming very obvious. You hadn't realized that he had been harboring feelings for someone. But shouldn't you have known that? You tried to cover the fact that your heart skipped a beat and your stomach dropped by coughing._

 _Oikawa pats your back lightly, "(F/n) are you okay? Don't be so surprised! I've told you about her before."_

 _You give him a look that could kill when your coughing spat is done, "No, this is the first time I'm hearing of her," you try not to say through clenched teeth._

 _He then launches into a long winded monologue about this amazing girl you had never met before. Every detail he used to describe her sent cracks through your heart. How had you never met or even seen this person before? No one seemed to really stand out to you, until you remembered something Iwa-chan had told you a few days prior._

 _"Well," you interrupt, "after you win the game make sure to ask out manager-chan okay?"_

 _Oikawa looks at you confused, "Wait, what are you talking about? She's not-"_

 _"No it's okay," you stand up to gather your things, "I've got to go anyways my parents are expecting me to make dinner tonight so..."_

 _You had trailed off and haphazardly collected your belongings and rushed out of the library. Three years. Three years you had kept your feelings for the brown eyed teen under wraps and suddenly they come out of nowhere. What is wrong with you? He's one of your best friends, there's no way he would have accepted your feelings or even shared them. You start to feel tears fall down your face and neglect to pay attention to your surroundings._

 _"Oof, watch where you're going (L/n). Aren't you supposed to be with Shittykawa?"_

 _"Did you know that he was gonna ask out your new manager? I didn't even know he was seriously interested in anyone! Like seriously, as in dating for the long term. And how did I miss it?"_

 _Your rambling was a sign to him that something wasn't right. For as long as he's known Oikawa, he's known you, so he grabs a hold of your shoulders to halt your speaking and stare at you directly in the eye. He takes one of his hands to wipe a few tears that are still falling away from your face. "You might have been able to hide it from him, but I can read you like a book. It's okay to have feelings for him you know."_

 _"Hajime, no it's not. Friends like us don't fall for each other or fall in love. We stay the way we are. I think, I think I'm going to accept Mattsun's confession. I just, needed a reason or not to accept. And since he's going to ask the girl of his dreams out, I might as well try to squash my feelings."_

 _Iwaizumi's grip on your body loosens as he hears your words. Idiots. The both of you. But it's not his place to tell you of Oikawa's true feelings. Or vice versa._

 _He really hoped that this won't bite all three of them in the ass_

You never found out if he asked out the new manager, you were too upset over the bundle of emotions you felt for your boys. Right before the game you had accepted Mattsun's feelings and he was over the moon. He had mentioned having to ask Oikawa for permission, which didn't really make sense considering he didn't ask Iwaizumi. That game was a very intense game, similar to this recent one.  You ran to the aid of your friends in their time of hurt, much the dismay of fangirls. As you were waiting for the one your heart was locked onto, your newly acquired boyfriend had walked out first with a grim face. He knew how close you are to the former captain and suggested you not go in. For his last game, it was weird not waiting and walking with him. 

    But as you had turned around to walk with Mattsun, you heard a very familiar sounding wail coming from behind you.

 __Feel like a brand new person, but you make the same ol' mistakes  
Well I don't care I'm in love, stop before it's too late  
Feel like a brand new person, but you make the same ol' mistakes  
I finally know what it's like, you don't have what it takes  
Stop before it's too late, I know there's too much at stake  
Making the same mistakes  
And I still don't know why it's happening  
Stop while it's not too late  
I still don't know  


  
"Three years ago. It's happening all over again. I'm gonna lose her again."

    "She's not going anywhere and you know it. Neither am I. I came to this game because your nephew was worried about you and hadn't heard from you since your visit to the hospital."

    "Damn it Hajime!" Oikawa has snapped at his best friend before, but never like this. There was steam practically coming out of his ears and the threat of tears were evident in his eyes. His composure was slowly but surely breaking with every breath he took. He was stupid for trying to be a hero in his pass and save the ball, only for him to land on his bad knee. But he still kept playing regardless of what doctors had warned and heeded him. No, he was determined to play all the way through.

    But he failed.

    "You don't get it! This was my last chance for everything! And (F/n)-chan knew my knee was acting up again, but I never told her how bad. I had told myself that I would play this game for her. But I couldn't even tell her the truth behind this game.

    "Iwa-chan, this was my last volleyball game ever, and I just had to relive my worst experience ever! It was practically the same fucking atmosphere and don't try to tell me it wasn't!"

    His yells reverberate off of the metal of the lockers and the hard tile floors. The tension was heavy between the two childhood friends. Iwaizumi had seen his friends lowest points, but this by far is one of the worst he's seen. His eyes widen in understanding and sadness for his outstanding friend. Bad things always happen, but why is it that they happen to the ones we love and care for most? Worst yet, ourselves.

    And no one felt that worst than Oikawa Tooru in this moment.

    "I'm worthless Iwa. Volleyball is, or was, everything to me. And when I think of volleyball, I think of our former team... And her. She will think nothing of me now. I'm nothing without it! And that's how she'll see me, as nothing. I am nothing Iwa-chan. Nothing!"

 

    You braved the stink and uncomfortableness of walking through the males locker room, but this was getting ridiculous. It'd been almost an hour. Any sensible person would have left and admitted that they had been stood up. But not you. For some reason, you waited and waited until you took action. This was getting insane! He was acting out again! Weren't they way past this part of his old personality? Clearly not.

    As you approached his location, the sound of raised voices caught your ear. You knew that Oikawa's other best friend had showed up to show his support. His university's team had lost earlier in the tournament and he decided to come out and watch his all-star best friend.

    However, it's their exchange that began to shatter you.

    Did he really think that lowly and shallow of you?

    How could he think you would leave his side?

    His condition had worsened and he didn't even tell you. It's the next part that makes you gasp and your presence was discovered.

    "How can I tell her I love her? After all these years, I can't bring myself to do it. And now look at me," he all but yelled that out, "I'm broken. She deserves someone who isn't broken.

    "I pushed her to Mattsun all those years ago."

    A deep sigh escapes Iwaizumi's lips, "She was convinced that you were in love with our new manager at the time. When you were trying to confess, she uh, wanted to ask if she should accept his feelings. But she got flustered and-"

    "God I am so STUPID! I can't play volleyball, I couldn't get the woman, I'm nothing!"

    "Tooru please stop this!"

    You had burst through and grabbed his fist before he had made contact with another locker, damaging his hand further. Tears fall freely down his face as his shoulders shake furiously. "Leave me." You promptly responded with a dignified "no".

    "Please don't push me out again. The first few months here without you were hard. I chose to come to the same university as you because no matter where you go, I will be there."

    You wrap yourself around his form in hopes of calming him down. Iwaizumi takes a back seat to the intimate moment that should have happened a long time ago. 

    "Tooru, please say something," you plead. "I love you too much to see you like this. Please, Tooru. I need you too."

    Oikawa turns his head to be face to face with you. You have been close to him like this before, however this time the aura around you two is different. It seemed stronger. You hadn't realized you were crying until you felt a calloused rough hand cup your cheek and wipe away a tear. You leaned into his caring touch, loving the warmth his hand emitted into your being. He closed the distance between your lips and cautiously placed his over yours. The kiss was tentative, almost like the both of you trying to savor the moment. You moved in again and made this one more passionate. If Oikawa wasn't able to get your words, maybe action would get his attention.

    You felt his hands cup your face and you moved your arms to fit around his waist. All the love and endearment harbored over years of grief were finally put into motion of the kisses. Neither of you heard Iwaizumi leave the locker room. 

 __Man I know that it's hard to digest  
But maybe your story is just different from the rest  
And I know it seems wrong to accept  
But you've got your demons and she's got her regrets  
Man I know that it's hard to digest  
A realization is as good as a guess  
And I know it seems wrong to accept  
But you've got your demons, and she's got her regrets  
But you've got your demons  
And she's got her regrets  


  
Your fingers intertwine with Oikawa's and a calm silence has befallen the two of you.

    "I only accepted his feelings to make you jealous. And I hoped I would get over you faster."

    "Did it work?"

    "No," you breathe, "it only made me want you more."


	2. Love You Goodbye

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is not a sequel, it's more of a partner piece to the first part! This takes place before the first story.

College AU  
A/N: Mentions of sex, implied, but not explicit

 

_"You love her don't you?"_

_Oikawa Tooru froze in place as he heard those words. "Mattsun, I just started dating someone. There's no way I can already love her-"_

_"Don't give me that. You know who I'm talking about, and she's currently in the shower of this beach house."_

_Matsukawa was never one for intense and emotional confrontations, but when it came to his girlfriend of almost a year, (Surname) (F/n) then all reservations were taken off the table. He knew it was risky inviting her to their spring break outing, however when he found out the Oikawa was bringing his new thing so he figured what the hell?_

_He was excited to see all of his friends again. It's been about a year since they all graduated high school so they, Iwaizumi and Hanamaki included, had made plans to spend their college spring break together. But Matsukawa isn't an idiot. He knew that Oikawa and Iwaizumi were close middle school friends with (Surname) and he was nervous about telling her his feelings before their big tournament. He thought that there was a little something there between Oikawa and (Surname) during their latter high school years that he desperately wanted to ignore. His suspicions were confirmed the more she brought him up and the more he saw the pair interact._

_It's inevitable everything that's good comes to an end_   
_Is it possible to know if after this we can still be friends, yeah_

_"You know," Matsukawa started, "when you weren't speaking to (F/n) for the first few months of university she was devastated. She begged me, begged me Oikawa, for me to talk to you. And because I love her I asked you, do you remember that? And you gave a bullshit answer cause you were with some girl after volleyball conditioning."_

_The brown haired student lowered his eyes as he tried to ignore his former teammates words. He didn't want to believe it. His walls couldn't possibly be falling again after just rebuilding them up._

_"Mattsun, it's our first year. I didn't want to be stuck to high school. And the fan girls here are wonderful. Much better choices than Seijoh, right Iwa-chan?"_

_"I'm not getting into this," the shorter one replies and makes his way to his room wanting to avoid the possible shit storm._

_"You're avoiding the question," Matsukawa stated glaring at his friend. Oikawa returns the stare and sticks out his bottom lip partially and crosses his arms across his chest. "Mattsun you're not being fair. We're on vacation! Can't we just enjoy the beach and-"_

_"Just tell me you're in love with (Surname) (F/n) so I can go get ready for bed."_

_Oikawa's face softens at the exasperation in his friends tone. His hands drop to his sides at the realization of what had been said. The whole first floor was eerily quiet as two of the four friends looked on from the level above, listening to their former teammates bicker. Hanamaki had always known something was off with the setter when it came to (Surname), hell everyone knew except her of course. Iwaizumi wasn't sure what he really wanted to come out of this. He just wanted everyone happy, but with how everything played out, he knew at least one person would be broken. And out of the three involved, he just couldn't pick._

_Brushing a couple of his brown hairs out of the way, Oikawa finds his voice, "I didn't plan to."_

_Suddenly he yelps at the feeling of a fist against his cheek._

_"Issei!"_

_Both young men turn to hear her voice break through the tension. She is wearing an old shirt of Matsukawa's and some shorts and smells of fresh lavender. Her eyebrows are raised up as high as they can go as all she saw was Oikawa getting punched by her boyfriend._

_"Oh (F/n)-chan! It's nothing serious. I lost a bet is all, right Mattsun?"_

_The darker haired male is slightly confused by not completely outing him on why Oikawa got punched in the first place, but soon he understands. A small smile makes its way onto his face and meets her gaze. "Babe it's nothing. This idiot lost a bet about some internet joke is all. Let's go to bed?"_

_She doesn't miss the lowering of his voice at the end of his question or the fact that he bit his lip at the end too._

_Oikawa watches him walk upstairs toward (F/n) and when he hears their door close he feels a buzz at his side. He checks his phone to see a very plain and obvious text message._

_**From: Iwa-chan** _   
_**You know you deserved that right?** _

_The young man sighs as he puts his phone away and proceeds up the stairs. He passes by their shared room and what he hears makes him clench his fists. The sounds of shuffling and breathy pants irk him as he rushes to his room and slams the door shut._

_"Oh my god Tooru! Your face, what happened?"_

_"Huh? Oh it's nothing, just a silly misunderstanding between friends," Oikawa chuckles off to Kiyoko._

_The young woman sighs as she adjusts her glasses. She walks up to the sulking brunet and rubs his shoulder lightly, "She's gonna find out we're not dating sooner or later and honestly I don't know how long I can keep pretending to be your girlfriend."_

_I know you're saying you don't want to hurt me_   
_Well maybe you should show a little mercy_   
_The way you look I know you didn't come to apologize_

 

Matsukawa was rattled when he woke up from his mid afternoon nap when he realized what he had just dreamt. Why of all days was he thinking about that day? Especially on a day such as this.

Today is his two year anniversary with (Surname) (F/n) and he plans on spoiling her rotten.

Sure, Hanamaki would call him a sap or a love sick fool for wanting to go all out for her, but what can he say? He's been in love with her since his high school days and it's still a lot to take in the fact that he nabbed his high school sweetheart. So why shouldn't he spoil her?

But that dream he had.

One wouldn't call that a dream, more so a recollection of memories. His knuckles throb at the thought of him punching his friend and how badly he had wanted to slug him before that. However, he didn't think it would have had to be over a person; a stupid bet or Oikawa being Oikawa... But never over someone like (F/n).

He wasn't stupid, he'd be lying if he said he didn't think that there was anything between (F/n) and the setter. But he wasn't going to let that deter him from his actions. Mattsun had already made it up in his mind to ask her out two years ago because there were lots of things running through his mind. "It's possibly my last game on this team," "Fuck it I'm a senior," "Better do it now or I'll regret it for sure."

He remembers the day she had accepted his feelings. Her eyes were slightly red and the skin on her smooth cheeks were covered in dried tears. He had held her chin in his hand and right then, he knew he never wanted to see her like this. As he gazed into her (e/c) eyes, he felt a force pulling him closer to her face, wanting to wipe away and discard of whatever it was that was bothering her. And she felt it too.

~~~~~~~~

 

" _Kiyoko I'm glad you decided to meet with me, but I'm not sure why we're meeting though."_

_"Oikawa and I broke up last night."_

_The sound of waves crashing were able to fill the inevitable silence between the two girlfriends. (F/n)'s bottom lip dropped at the news told to her and then her head dropped. She twiddles and twists her fingers struggling with how to react and what to say. Why can't she face her after hearing such news?_

_"I'm so sorry," she mumbled out. "Are you okay?"_

_The glasses clad female gave (F/n) a small smile, a little twinkle in her eye as her smile grew, "I'm doing just fine. I'm happy for Oikawa."_

_A brief pause enveloped the ladies as both were trying to find ways to avoid the elephant in the room and discuss it at the same time. (F/n) opened up her mouth and reached out her hand but then retracted it. What is she supposed to say? That even though she feels badly about it that she's secretly happy? What kind of person would she be if she told his most recent ex that?_

_"We weren't really dating you know," Kiyoko trails off. She earned a nod from the other woman to continue, "He was, well is, upset about the fact that Matsukawa-san was thinking of bringing you." Looking into the distance she waves her hand in the air, "There's my taxi."_

_"Wait, you're leaving?"_

_"Yes, I've been away for awhile and I think he needs to stop running away from his problems and issues."_

_She turns her back to a bewildered (F/n) who can do nothing but wave her off. The smell of sea salt and sand calms her racing heart as she tries to fully and truly understand Kiyoko's intentions of leaving and revealing the information. The lights of the cab start to dwindle as the mature young woman is hauled off to the airport._

_(F/n) turns back toward the beach house where she knows the guys will soon be there waiting and hungry. She realized she was going to miss her kitchen buddy considering some of these guys can't cook to save their lives. A small giggle escapes her lips as she thinks of all the craziness that has happened in the past few days. Her feet drag in the sand, leaving a trail from where she's been and is now at the house. She can hear the sounds of the four friends finishing up a game of beach volleyball when she arrives at their beach house._

_As she approached them and realizing the game was over, a thought hit her. Looking at them now, hearing the fight that ensued the night before, and Kiyoko leaving she's come up with two realizations._

_Maybe she isn't over Oikawa,_

_And maybe she truly has fallen in love with Issei._

_Tears fall freely as the boys come closer to the house. The first to notice her is the one she's glad has noticed._

_"Sweetie what's wrong? Is everything okay?"_

_Warm hands held her face and wiped away any remaining tears. Smaller hands wrapped around his as their foreheads were pressed together._

_"Nothing Issei, I just really love you."_

_When the couple kissed, (F/n) tried hard to ignore the tug in her heartstrings at the hurt look that crossed the brunets face._

_~~~~~~~~_

_Hey hey hey_   
_Oh, why you wearing that to walk out of my life?_   
_Hey hey hey_   
_Oh, even though it's over you should stay the night_   
_Hey hey hey_   
_If tomorrow you won't be mine_   
_Won't you give it to me one last time?_   
_Oh, baby let me love you goodbye_

 

(F/n) was speechless. When Matsukawa told her to come to his apartment immediately she wasn't sure what to expect. Would the place be on fire? Did he lock himself out? Or worse yet: was there a ridiculous prank left for her there? She truly dreaded the last option, but it wouldn't surprise her at all. That's one of the things she loves about him. His ability to be the biggest goof on the planet and then turn into the worlds most romantic person in a couple of minutes is something she adores. However, the latter is what she found when she opened up the door with her spare key.

Candles lit up the whole apartment and looked beautiful in contrast to the darkness outside. On the ground were specific instructions and an arrow that pointed to her left. There, she found a bouquet of roses. Well actually, they were fake roses with a note attached. So I couldn't exactly afford real roses so here are these. But could you go to my room? There's something there for you.

A goofy grin adorned her face as she walked to their room where many shared nights occurred. Upon entering, she laughed aloud at what was on the bed. It was, somehow, a cardboard cutout of her favorite singer in a suggestive pose, but instead of their face it was his. And surrounding it were real rose pedals. And of course, another note.

I bet you were expecting me naked huh? That's for later hon'. But remember that dress you really wanted? Well I'm broke so I got the next best thing. It's in the closet.

So she opens the closet and expect some 10 dollar dress, which wouldn't have been a problem, but to her surprise, it was the dress she had been eyeing for a few months. "How the hell did he afford this dress," she whispers to herself as she takes it out of the bag. Before really taking it out of the bag, she scavenges for the tag to find the price. When she feels the plastic on her fingers she holds it to her eyes and squints at the small writing.

Thanks from Hanamaki and Iwaizumi.

"That slick bastard, he knew I wanted to look at the price." After a light chuckle, (F/n) puts on the dress and is in love instantly. She didn't realize he had noticed how badly she had wanted this dress. I guess that's what makes him so amazing.

A few quick twirls in the dress and (F/n) walks out of the closet feeling ten times more confident than before. The sound of her phone ringing breaks her from her thoughts and causes her to furrow her brows. The photo I.D. indicates it's Mattsun but something is very off.

"Hello darling."

"Why did you change your ringtone to "Anaconda"?"

"Cause you've just got an ass that won't quit. Can you come over to your place? I tried breaking in the window and I think your neighbor thought I was crazy..."

She couldn't help but giggle and then sigh at his antics, "Oh Issei, what am I gonna do with you? I'll be there soon. Wait don't you have a spare key? I thought-"

"Okay great bye! Love you, here come dat boi."

"Oh shit whaddup," (F/n) responded and then hung up. The two of them had a knack for ending their phone calls with a meme and today's was no exception. Her heart fluttered at the wackiness and fondness of Matsukawa and is truly and utterly happy. Being with him was so simple for her, so easy and so right. The high she was experiencing couldn't be described in words as his love for her overwhelmed her being. As she gathers her things, she blows out the candles knowing if she didn't they would just start a fire and she'd be damned if she was gonna let a fire spoil their evening. As soon as the last flame was reduced to a small single stream of smoke, the (e/c) eyed beauty walked through the front door, a lovesick smile on her face.

Once outside the door, the smell of a special cologne invaded her nostrils.

"Tooru?"

 

_Unforgettable together held the whole world in our hands_   
_Unexplainable, a love that only we could understand, yeah_   
_I know there's nothing I can do to change it_   
_But is it something that can be negotiated?_   
_My heart's already breaking, baby, go on twist the knife_

_"So, Kiyoko told me that she and Oikawa weren't really dating."_

_(F/n) was snuggled into Matsukawa's chest after an, albeit a truly amazing thing, unexpected rush of emotions lead them to their bedroom. Tonight is their last night and the young man thought that they should spend it doing something they both love. Doing each other into a frenzy._

_He breathes out deeply, "What? Why would she tell you that?" He continues to lazily draw patterns on her naked body, just wanting to keep her touch under his finger tips. Honestly, Hanamaki might call him a changed man but he loves these small little moments with her when it's just them. No barriers between them; just pure honesty. And maybe the fact that they're both in the buff helps too._

_"Maybe she felt weird and could trust me? I don't know, what would prompt him to do that?"_

_"Do we really have to talk about him right now? Especially," his voice lowers as he starts to trail kisses along her neck, "when we're both like this? That's breaking the Bro Code."_

_"Issei! I'm serious," she chides him as she releases herself from his grasp, "Oikawa would never do something so heartless. Plus he's been acting weird this whole vacation. You're one of his best friends, you should know him better."_

_He scoffs at her comments and smirks. "Well so are you. Can't we just forget about him right now? I know you're concerned, and you should be, but we just had sex and Oikawa is the last person I wanna think about right now."_

_Hearing those words come out of his mouth cause the young woman to giggle, almost hysterically. Her shoulders shake and her stomach bounces as she's overcome with laughter. Matsukawa doesn't hesitate to drop his facials and stare blankly at her._

_"What the hell, (F/n)?"_

_Her giggles cease for a moment as she takes a deep breath to calm herself down. "Sorry, I just... The thought of us having sex and then talking about him is funny to me. Do you remember the first time we did it?"_

_Mattsun raises his eyebrows at the mention of their first time. Remembering the details of what conspired after, he starts to laugh. His laugh is hearty and deep and full of pure joy. "That's the weekend we all came back for the holidays."_

_"And then you and I escaped to an open bedroom! Ha ha, and To- Oikawa was drunk and was asking where we were going-"_

_"And stood outside that room whining about why he couldn't come in! And then, wait what'd he do?"_

_Standing off of the bed, she elevates herself and slouches over to impersonate the brunet. "Iwaaaaa-chan they won't let me iinnnn!!"_

_A roar of laughter come from the raven haired man as the memories take over and as he watches his girlfriend correctly copy his best friend. "That was when he got drunk strength and bust down the door and saw us, uh well..."_

_"Fucking?"_

_"You're a real fucking princess aren't you?"_

_The couple continued to laugh and remember together. (F/n) flailed back onto the bed as her abs constrain from laughing too hard. Once their bout of giggles finally ceased, the sound of their labored breathing filled the air as the high from happiness lowered._

_(F/n) started the conversation back up, "Didn't he mumble something? You know, before he passed out on the side of the bed?"_

_Matsukawa's eyes widen at the question. He was hoping she would forget what the drunk brunet admitted. "Why isn't it me with her," Oikawa had muttered before falling face first onto the bed and promptly rolling off of it._

_He tries to shake off those words. Remembering them now, it all makes sense. Even he began to ask himself that question. Why weren't they together? Maybe always hearing about how close they were made him immune to it. Even in high school he didn't think anything of their friendship. But now that they are almost a year into university and tensions are still obviously high, Mattsun can't help but wonder if the girl he's in love with settled or worse, is in love with that idiot._

_"Probably something about setting for Iwaizumi before passing out. You know how he is."_

_Hey hey hey_   
_Oh why you wearing that to walk out of my life?_   
_Hey hey hey_   
_Oh, even though it's over you should stay the night_   
_Hey hey hey_   
_If tomorrow you won't be mine_   
_Won't you give it to me one last time?_   
_Oh, baby let me love you goodbye_

 

"Ah, Mattsun told me to leave this outside his door. I guess I wasn't supposed to run into you! Sorry (f/n)-chan. I ruined the surprise!"

Oikawa tried his best to cover the blush coming upon his cheeks but obviously didn't a great a job as he wanted. He had seen her dressed up and looking nice before, but something was different about today. The glow on her cheeks was one that the tall man had only seen when she was around Matsukawa or just truly and irrevocably happy. Oikawa was so taken by her that he almost dropped the items in his hands.

"Ah!"

"Tooru, is everything okay? What's that?"

The brunet is now on all fours on the ground picking up what he dropped. "Uh, it's directions to your next location-"

"Why does he do these crazy things," she questioned while letting out a giggle. Her palm rests on her forehead at her boyfriends tactics, especially using all of his friends to help him out. "And what's in the box?"

Brown eyes widen, realizing he had let that hit that floor too. He carefully hands (F/n) the box to let her get a grip on it. Once in her palms, she gave the box a slight shake, knowing full well her lover could have put something silly in it. But when she opens it and sees a stunning necklace on the inside, she gasps at the sight.

"It's beautiful. Wait, how did he afford this?! This is extremely expensive! Did you put him up to this? You know he would spend anything and everything just to fulfill a need or dream.

"Actually," Oikawa interrupted, "I bought it. I wanted to help Mattsun and (F/n)-chan celebrate an amazing day together! So I took some money out of my volleyball tournament fund and bought it."

(E/c) orb expanded at hearing what he just told her. He took money from a very special account, one that he had been saving up for, for her?

"Tooru you didn't have to do that."

"Too late!" Oikawa smiled cheekily at the stumped young woman. He motions his hands for her to give him the box. A quizzical look crossed her face at first but when he held the necklace she realized what he wants to do. "Turn around, I wanna put it on!" She does as he asks and moves any hair out of the way for the nape of her neck to be clear. The feel of the cool metal upon her upper chest awaken her senses to how close Oikawa is to her. She can feel his warm breath on the skin near her nape as he securely clicks the necklace in place. His hands linger on her shoulders, slowly leaving her body one finger at a time.

(F/n)'s cheeks heat up at the elongated interaction between herself and the man behind her. The thumping of her heart confuses her feelings as she enjoys this moment, but is also eager to see a certain man. She turns around to face Oikawa, meeting the brunets soft gaze. The taller man looks upon her with wonder, and another emotion she can't seem to discern but one that makes her calm and happy.

"It looks really good on you," Oikawa muttered, finally finding the words to describe the beauty he sees in her.

A comfortable silence befalls them as they make their way toward the exit. Oikawa stayed close to her, hopefully to catch any wandering eyes in the apartment complex. The temptation to reach out and grab each others hand is becoming overwhelming not just for him, but for the (h/c) haired young lady as well. Once they reached her vehicle, they cease their walking pace so that they can continue on with their evening.

Taking a deep breath, knowing that what she is about to say may cause some pain, she puts on a brave face for the three of them. "Tooru I love him. So much."

A sad but understanding smile graces his face as he lets her into her car. Before he closes her driver side door, he leans down to whisper in her ear.

"I know."

 

_One more taste of your lips just to bring me back_   
_To the places we've been and the nights we've had_   
_Because if this is it then at least we could end it right._

 

The two of them didn't intend to argue for so long. It was just a casual night out celebrating another week of college done, and one little thing had finally put everything into place. Or rather let the cat out of the bag.

"Just admit it so I can feel better. Were the past two and a half years nothing to you?"

"How dare you even assume I didn't love you? I still do!"

"But you love him more, don't you?"

A heavy silence greets them. (F/n) had just been back from taking care of Oikawa. The latter had called her in a drunken stupor, whining and complaining about someone or something that had made him upset. He had called Iwaizumi but he was unavailable so he had decided to call his best friend.

"He needed me," she exasperates. "Iwa-chan wasn't available and you know how he gets. Issei please let's not argue about this."

Shaking his head, he makes a small circle around himself, "But you didn't deny it. I asked you if you love him-"

"Of course I do he's one of my best friends! I don't see what you're getting at," she pants out, getting exhausted over having this conversation for the fourth time in a month. (F/n) starts to feel tears form behind her eyes because for as long as she can recall, faking her feelings has always been trying on her.

"(F/n), please just tell me the truth."

She finally meets his gaze. The bags under his usually joyful eyes are evident of pain and frustration. She loves this man, she really and truly does. But how can she keep denying what her heart and mind have been telling her for years? Matsukawa deserves better than this. They all do.

"Can we make love one more time?"

 

~~~~~~~~

 

The last two hours were probably the most passionate hours they had ever shared. Both of their bodies covered in their own sweat, the heat of the moment is slowly dying as they lay in their once shared bed. Mattsun, not caring anymore, wraps his arms around his love's body, wanting to take in this memory and ingrain it in his brain forever. He feels soft hands respond as they glide up his obliques and rest on his upper chest. He chastely places his lips on top of her head, knowing she enjoys those types of kisses and intimacy. He can only hope that whatever happens with her that he knows how much she truly needs this type of affection.

The sweat clad girl moves her body to be situated closer to the other one in the bed. She places a hand on his cheek and gives him a soft and fleeting set of kisses on his lips. The taste of salt appears on his lips as he opens his eyes, breaking himself from the trance, to see her (e/c) eyes full of gentle tears.

"Issei, I love him."

Kissing you back one last time, he hold her chin in his hands and keeps her gaze steady.

"I know."

 

_Oh baby let me love you goodbye._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As per usual it was another songfic cause that's the type of person I am! Hope you liked this!


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